Nobody talked about what they were struggling with on the inside. I remember thinking, What are my problems? I play basketball for a living. What do i have to worry about? Id never heard of any pro athlete talking about mental health, and I didnt want to be the only one. I didnt want to look weak. Honestly, i just didnt think i needed.
Personal college essays - nadia minkoff
I didnt want to have to deal with everything sometime in the future, when it might be worse. I knew that much. So i did one seemingly little thing that turned out to be a big thing. The cavs helped me find a therapist, and I set up an appointment. I gotta stop right here and just say: Im the last person whod have thought Id be seeing a therapist. I remember when I was two or three years into the league, a friend asked me why essay nba players didnt see therapists. I scoffed at the idea. No way any of us is gonna talk to someone. I was 20 or 21 years old, and Id grown up around basketball. And on basketball teams?
Id thought the hardest part was over after I had the panic attack. It was the opposite. Now I was left wondering why it happened — and why i didnt want to talk about. Call it a stigma or call it fear or insecurity — you can call it a number of things — but what I was worried about wasnt just gps my own inner struggles but how difficult it was to talk about them. I didnt want people to perceive me as somehow less reliable as a teammate, and it all went back to the playbook id learned growing. This was new territory for me, and it was pretty confusing. But I was certain about one thing: I couldnt bury what had happened and try to move forward. As much as part of me wanted to, i couldnt allow myself to dismiss the panic attack and everything underneath.
We won, and I book had. I summary remember how relieved I was to be back on the court and feeling more like myself. But I distinctly remember being more relieved than anything that nobody had found out why i had left the game against Atlanta. A few people in the organization knew, sure, but most people didnt and no one had written about. A few more days passed. Things were going great on the court, but something was weighing. Why was I so concerned with people finding out? It was a wake-up call, that moment.
Really i was just hoping my heart would stop racing. It was like my body was trying to say to me, youre about to die. I ended up on the floor in the training room, lying on my back, trying to get enough air to breathe. The next part was a blur. Someone from the cavs accompanied me to the Cleveland Clinic. They ran a bunch of tests. Everything seemed to check out, which was a relief. But I remember leaving the hospital thinking, wait then what the hell just happened? Jed Jacobsohn/The Players' Tribune, i was back for our next game against the bucks two days later.
Personal, struggle an Appropriate, essay, topic?
Its hard to describe, but everything was spinning, like my brain was trying to climb out of my head. The air felt thick and heavy. My mouth was like chalk. I remember our assistant coach yelling something about a defensive set. I nodded, but I didnt hear much of what he said. By that point, i was freaking out.
When gandhi I got up to walk out of the huddle, i knew I couldnt reenter the game — like, literally couldnt do it physically. Coach lue came up. I think he could sense something was wrong. I blurted something like, ill be right back, and I ran back to the locker room. I was running from room to room, like i was looking for something I couldnt find.
It was november 5th, two months and three days after I turned. We were at home against the hawks — 10th game of the season. A perfect storm of things was about to collide. I was stressed about issues Id been having with my family. I wasnt sleeping well.
On the court, i think the expectations for the season, combined with our 45 start, were weighing. I knew something was wrong almost right after tip-off. I was winded within the first few possessions. And my game was just off. I played 15 minutes of the first half and made one basket and two free throws. After halftime, it all hit the fan. Coach lue called a timeout in the third quarter. When I got to the bench, i felt my heart racing faster than usual. Then I was having trouble catching my breath.
My personal experience essay
Theyre a lot like depression or anxiety in that way. So for 29 years, i thought about mental health as someone elses problem. Sure, i knew on some level that some people benefited from asking for help or opening. I just never thought it was for. To me, it was form of weakness that could derail my success in sports or make me seem weird or different. Christian Petersen/Getty Images, then came the panic attack. It happened during a game.guaranteed
through it on your own. So for 29 years of my life, i followed that playbook. And look, im probably not telling you anything new here. These values about men and toughness are so ordinary that theyre everywhere and invisible at the same time, surrounding us like air or water.
I turned 29 in September and for pretty much 29 years of my life i have list been protective about anything and everything in my inner life. I was comfortable talking about basketball — but that came natural. It was much harder to share personal stuff, and looking back now i know I could have really benefited from having someone to talk to over the years. But I didnt share — not to my family, not to my best friends, not in public. Today, ive realized I need to change that. I want to share some of my thoughts about my panic attack and whats happened since. If youre suffering silently like i was, then you know how it can feel like nobody really gets. Partly, i want to do it for me, but mostly, i want to do it because people dont talk about mental health enough. And men and boys are probably the farthest behind.
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O n november 5th, right after halftime against the hawks, i had a panic attack. It came out of nowhere. Id never had one before. I didnt even know if they were real. But it was real — as real as a broken hand or a sprained ankle. Since that day, almost everything about the way i think about my mental health has changed. I did presentation one seemingly little thing that turned out to be a big thing. Kevin love discusses his decision to seek help after suffering from a panic attack. (0:54) progressbar, ive never been comfortable sharing much about myself.